One of the presumptions I make with this blog thing is, anyone who comes here and reads this puppy probably values my opinion somewhat. Another is, most folks who read this will already be reading horror novels and other fantastic fiction year-round, so instead of tossing out some ideas about what to read this Halloween, I’ll give you my prescribed list of the ten best fright films ever, ’cause, you know, I wouldn’t want you wasting your time watching bad movies:

1. George A. Romero’s Creepshow (1982). This fun, campy tribute to the old horror comics of the 1950s and -60s is scripted by none other than terror maestro Stephen King, who stars in the film alongside his son, writer Joe Hill, Ed Harris, Hal Holbrook, Leslie Nielsen (in one of his most memorable performances ever!), and Ted Danson.
2. Frank Darabont’s The Mist (2007). This tale of cosmic terror, starring Thomas Jane, Laurie Holden, Toby Jones, and Marcia Gay Harden (in a role to rival the villainy of even Anthony Hopkins’s Hannibal Lecter, or Darth Vader), follows the harrowing struggle of a father and son trapped in the supermarket — as if that isn’t horrifying enough! — during a mist-borne invasion of otherworldly terrors. What is terrifying isn’t necessarily the interdimentional spiders, mammoth insects, or even the Lovecraftian Behemoth-Flea-Thing, but rather the individuals who polarize and wage war among a microcosm of humanity (inhumanity?).
3. Michael Doughert’s Trick ‘r Treat (2007). Brian Cox, Dylan Baker, and Anna Paquin bring unforgettable performances to this episodic web of interwoven terrors. A kind of Halloween-themed Creepshow homage, this film shines on the basis of a solid, tightly woven (if a little understated, or even vague) script and some genuine scares.
4. John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978). I don’t call myself a purist, and I’m definitely no snob when it comes to picking films, but I’ve so far refused to watch Rob Zombie’s modern retelling of the classic Michael Myers film that launched the “slasher-flick” subgenre that has come to define horror cinema in recent decades, for better or worse. A chilling soundtrack, an organic story that flows like a deep, deep knife wound, and career-defining performances by veteran actor Donald Pleasence and a young Jamie Lee Curtis make this timeless film both a visceral and psychological exploration of evil that will live on long after its imitators have faded into obsolescence.
5. Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow (1999). Perhaps Burton’s most underrated, and subtly terrifying work, Sleepy Hollow is rich beyond measure with atmosphere, stellar performances from a mind-blowing cast, and convincing studies of supernatural tropes such as witchcraft, the undead, and that cheerful little place we call Hell. Stars Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Jeffrey Jones (Edward Rooney from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), Emperor Palpatine — er, Ian McDiarmid, Michael Gough (the original Alfred Pennyworth), Michael Gambon (Dumbledore!), and Christopher Walken, minus his head.
6. Dennis Iliadis’s The Last House on the Left (2009). Iliadis takes first-time director Wes Craven’s brilliant 1972 premise and gives it the visceral, adrenal, downright savage production it deserves. A young girl is brutally raped after watching her friend get stabbed to death in shockingly believable fashion. When she shows up at home, bloody and too exhausted to speak, her parents realize they’ve been giving shelter to the most vile band of murdering rapists — played brilliantly by Garret Dillahunt, Aaron Paul, and Riki Lindhome — they’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. Revenge ensues.
7. Mary Lambert’s Pet Sematary (1989). Stephen King adapted the script from his own novel of the same name, so one would almost be better off just reading the damn book — a masterpiece of macabre literature — but since it’s Halloween and movies are the flavor of the night, this haunting little film should keep you up all night. Or for several. Fred Gwynne (of Herman Munster fame) plays the cautionary-uncle figure Jud Crandall, who knows the secret of the Pet Sematary — and warns Louis Creed (played by Dale Midkiff) of the dangers of playing God through ancient, death-defying magic. I remain convinced to this day that this is the film that warped my young, impressionable mind as a child; it’s the reason why I “write this awful stuff.”
8. Ti West’s The House of the Devil (2009). A retro horror flick reminiscent of the 80s but twice as good as anything that inspired it, The House of the Devil is a suspenseful tale of a Satanic cult seeking a babysitter for a job that doesn’t involve children. One of the most satisfying — and downright unforgettable — climaxes in the history of horror cinema.
9. John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). This exploration of the alien other, of Cold War-era paranoia, and of humanity’s dissolution in the face of unthinkable terror is one of the finest horror films ever crafted, not because its special effects are stunningly real (they’re not), or because the acting is Oscar-worthy (most of the performances are merely workable, with the exception of Kurt Russel’s and Keith David’s), but because it deals with abstract sociological concerns on a microcosmic scale, and with unparalleled brilliance. The description of the alien, and the scene toward the film’s middle, when one of the humans bares its alien instincts in an inhuman shriek, and is set swiftly ablaze with a flamethrower, make for one of the most thought-provoking portrayals of science intersecting with a deeper, psychological brand of horror that ends on a resonant, haunting chord more than worth the price of admission.
10. Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960). Janet Leigh’s infamous shower scene, punctuated with the artful dilation of her pupils and the spiral washing of her blood (rendered black, due to the film’s appropriate lack of color) down the drain, is one of the most memorable moments not only in the history of horror and suspense, but in all of cinema. Anthony Perkins’s portrayal of quiet, repressed sociopath Norman Bates — and, let’s not forget, mother up in the bedroom window — is another example of a performance that will outlive most of its predecessors, excepting only the likes of Hopkins’s Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs and Red Dragon. Vince Vaughn’s performance in the contemporary remake is by no means bad, but I have to argue that it’s yet another example of a modern film reboot that is simply unjustifiable, artistically and otherwise.